THE URGE FOR VIOLENCE

When we hear or see or talk about the gladiatorial fights that were held in Colosseum during the time of the Roman Empire, the one word that comes to mind is "Barbaric". The thought of thousands of people cheering and jeering men and beasts who are locked in mortal combat makes even the most belligerent person cringe a little bit. It comes from a civilization that is known for its staunch adherence to one of the most noble of human ideas "Democracy".

But now fast forward to the present day the Colosseum has been replaced by an octagon, swords replaced by bare hands, closer proximity of hostile crowds and we have the truly barbaric world of Mixed Martial Art Fighting. Now replace the octagon with a modified boxing ring throw in some good old Indian bollywood masala (something unheard of in America) you have a franchise that has net revenue of 40 million dollars ...WWE.

So if you think about it even after 2000 years of human evolution it is just as barbaric and violent a society, as it once was. Okay we don't have instant viewer poll to decide if the guy should live or die ... Hmm... Actually let me say at least for now we don't have such an option. But we still love the sight of people beating the crap out of each other with blood all over the place. Hey the Romans can at least say it was free to watch those fights but these days we pay money to watch.

I am not sure where competition stops and barbarism takes over. I think about boxing its, 2 guys trying to beat each other to pulp and winner is the guy can do it the quickest. American football which off late I have fallen in love with, most times it appears to be about hitting the other guy rather than getting the ball ... the former appears to be the major driving force. The most popular video games are the ones to do with killing hmmm.... I wonder if those games would work if you replace the enemy with flying ducks/cats with guns ???

The truth is we just like violence in one form or another, call it sport or mob mentality or something else It gives us a rush either to be part of it or watching it. And we wonder at times why dogs go after cats???

As humans we still have not been able to move away from primal need for violence. Then we have the most primal emotion of all man's obsession to fornicate. It is no Coincidence that the global porn industry has revenues well over 25 billion dollars a year. Take any form of media and one can find that this preference order always sells

Sex > Violence > Abuse of power & Money > whatever else makes you cringe.

The truth is most of us are going to hell, if there is such a place.

" THE TWEET THAT SHOOK INDIA"

"Absolutely in cattle class out of solidarity with all our holy cows" was what our minister of state for external affairs had said in reply to a question asking if he would fly "cattle class" from now on twitter. The poor guy has been taken to cleaners for it!!! It is like India overnight lost its sense of humour. My god people how can we brown people who are supposed to be really smart not get that simple joke!!!! Cmon we have more english speaking people here than in Britain so it's not like we misunderstood it!!!

I mean the " President of the free world " as Americans like to put it ...called Kanye West a "jackass" but has not got half the bashing that the former UN under secretary general Tharoor.

But " speaking your mind " appears to be the flavour of the season. Let us see..... Roger Federer the apparent " Iceman" showed us his best impression of what I like to call " the McEnroe Syndrome" . But the winner of best impression of the " McEnroe Syndrome " was undoubtedly Serena Williams with her rendition of the " McEnroe Syndrome " with a modern day sprinkling of "I will KILL you". I think Jeff Dunham and Achmed might considering a copyright infringement law suit against Serena.

I mean the winner though has to be Kanye West for his interuption of Taylor Swift's victory speech at Video Music Awards. I mean seriously was some distrubed way of trying to say Beyonce I have a crush on you. I mean he really could not do anything right beacuse next he went on a talk show with Jay Leno and broke down .... are you kidding me !!! The show you are suppose to go cry on is Oprah !! Even I know that!!! I mean seriously talk about crash and burn.

Now coming back to politicians, Senator Joe wilson got in to a lot of trouble for screaming "Liar" during the President speech on health care. Poor guy man all he said was one word ... Think of how we do our assemblies, the prime minister keeps talking people are a lot more than the word "Liar", they are walking out, abusing , throwing mikes and personal favourite emptying tons of money in the middle of the parliment.

Back to Tharoor and his tweet, come on guys we all know he meant no disrespect to any one and the second part where he called the rest of the top brass of the government " Holy Cows " I kind of do agree.... beacuse come what may culling "holy cows ( politicians)" is a virtual impossibility in India. I actually for once ..want to meet the " mango person (thank u saif) " whose feelings have been hurt becuase such statements. I mean recently I was told that " Quick Gun Murugan" did not release in Hyderabad becuase the villian was named " Rice Plate Reddy" and that too offended the people.

Are we really that sensitive ?? Slumdog offended us, Sach ka Samna offended us, Song from movie " Aaja Nachle " ( dont remember the exact line) offends us and oh wait !!! the best SHAH RUKH KHAN getting frisked at US aiport offends us. But now lets us look at what does not offend us .. foriegn nationals and Indian women getting molested/ beaten in public, A professor getting beaten to death in public and more than 10 winteness turning hostile, fact that we elect politicians with criminal records to power.... and so on you get the picture ... oh wait we have politicians who uses 2000 crores of taxpayer money for building parks and statues of her herself ... I think that kind of money would give Stalin and Hitler a run for their money as far as self glorification goes!!

LIFE AT END OF THE BENCH

We all know and have heard about what it is to be the star of a sports team and heard these stars speak about how they led their team to victory and blah blah. I am sure you all would have seen that one guy who runs on to the field when the team wins but he is still in his warmers (track pants). And first your reaction is who is that guy ? does he ever play... why is he on the team?? I have never seen him play.

Well that guy is the one nobody outside knows, he is the one who gets the drinks for the " main" players. He pretty much is the water boy or towel boy of the team. All this may sound a little demeaning but I don’t think it is. Because like it or not counseling some of the big shots when they are not playing at their best... trying to give a pep talk by lifting lines from famous movies... and so on ..you get the picture... Basically doing things that are not associated with you dribbling the ball.

To be very honest ...I for long time was that guy on my college team. I mean my first 2 years on the mean I was a " 30 player ". That implies i would only play if we were up 30 or down by 30 . Basically you are the one who runs around like a headless chicken after the opponents have mopped the floor with your senior team and trust me it is not fun. Especially when you can hear people in the crowd go “whoa .... Where did they find this joker from ". The toughest part was to see juniors who got in to the team after me work themselves in to the rotation of playing team.

But I guess me turning in to the guy, who sits at the end of bench was a product my attitude of "playing safe". I mean was scared to shoot beacuse I was too worried that I would miss and preferred to pass. So at the end of the day you do not look bad but flip side being you would not look great either. The then coach of the team who for some insane reason called me " mogaan" for year then called me "mogith" for the next 2 years. he believed that if I really tried hard , I could be decent shooter ... I just generally concluded that he lost his marbles ...if he thought I can turn a guy the shoot the ball from distance with consistency.

I didn’t believe it then but now days that seems to be only thing I can do ... ironic!! Not that I am great at it but most definitely million times better than I was back in college. I think it is phenomenon know as "evolution", as I really cannot do anything else when the guy in front me can just jump over me with no effort at all ... I mean over me. Trust me ... being hopped over like a puddle of water on the road is not a very desirable experience. It is like wetting your pants in front of the whole class. So to be respectable you just shoot before the come near you (survival instincts).

In college I certainly did wish I could have been the guy with " star power" but honestly I think I would have not been able to enjoy being on the team and playing as much as I did if that were the case. In my opinion being the guy at the end of the bench worked out perfectly.... I was close to nearly all my closest friends, was able to share all the high & lows of basketball and life from winning, loosing and all the other crazy stuff. I met my girlfriend in a way thanks to basketball and being on the bench( more of the latter as I was kinda was unofficial coach of the girls team along with another friend) ... and learnt a hell a lot about basketball and life and met the really amazing people along the way... not bad for being last in a line... eh!!

FAKE IPL PLAYER : A MUST READ FOR A CRICKET FAN ( IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY BONE!! )

During the past few weeks ... finding time to update the blog has definitely been at premium. It is the general cycle of end of semester madness… projects, assignments, deadlines..... Final papers... blah blah.... But it has always amazed me how at around the same time as exams the number of movies... Tv Series.... etc one watches on their pc's dramatically increases. All in all the time spent on unproductive activities more than doubles... For example during my undergrad I watched about 80 odd Naruto episodes with English subtitles over a period of 2 days right before my toughest paper and only stopped because I ran out supply of episodes.

 

So now at grad level I have found new hobby at least for now.... rather should I say for this semester. As most you being the knowledgeable netizens you are, would have heard of this blog called "fakeiplplayer". This anonymous blogger ... an apparent insider.. writes about the off screen happenings of the IPL ( Indian Premier League) dishing all the dressing room dirt about IPL teams with a special focus on the Kolkata Knightriders and a little bit about the team from Punjab.

 

The beauty of his writing has to be his complete utilization of his right to free speech. But also at the same time he does not address any of players but comes up with comical equivalents for their names. Though I must admit at first read I really found it tough figure who was who... but as you read more it becomes pretty obvious. So I have spent the last week decoding, which name corresponds to which player and have made a list.

 

So here are my personal favourites:

 

Dil-do: Shah Rukh Khan

Lordie: Saurav ' dada' Ganguly

Kaan Moolo: Agarkar because of his extremely large ears... 

Little John: Ishant Sharma

Bhookha Naan : Buchanan

Candy Nickle : Andy Bichel

Gilli Danda : Ashok Dinda

Babaan: Arindham Bose

Budhimaan Baba: Wridhiman Saha

Chikna Pu**y : David Hussey ( may be to harsh dont you think?)

Boy George : Joy Bhattacharya

Sticky Something: Ricky Ponting

Appam Chu***a: Shreeshanth ( my favourite)

Havaii Chappal: Greg Chappel

Meerabhai: Bhajji

Mr.Batlivala: Mr. Mallya

Big Mac: Matty Hayden (totally agree)

Lady Jaya: Mahila Jaywardene

Cool dude: Dhoni (sounds about right)

Arnold Power: Romesh Powar (funny!!)

Pedophile Priest: Gilchrist.... (Extreme... way too extreme... )

Panty Pu**y: Robin Utthapa

Chinnu Popli: Virat Kholi

BUBlee: Brett lee

Vakil Saab : Sangakarra ( due to his excessive appealing)

Durbaan of Patiala: Tom Moody

Castro : Fidel Edwards

Springbok: Morne Wan Wyk

Ghati Baba: Rohit Sharma 

Prince of Patiala: Yuvvi

Kammez Pajama: Rameez Raja

Many more.... but these are the ones that appeal to me... and here are a few excerpts....

 

Prince hit him exactly where it hurts by saying, "Attitude toh poora masala dosa ka deta hai, aur bowling Appam jaisa karta hai" 

 

"Chirkut Teli hits on a 100 girls every night, at least 99 of whom reject him outright. Not too quality conscious, he'd take those odds any day. Although, given his batting average, I find his faith in this law of averages a little ironical."

 

"Imagine a group comprising Gilli Danda, Buddhiman Baba and Bubaan hitting on hot white chicks. My respect for South African girls has actually gone up a bit. "

 

If dropping catches wasn't embarassing enough, our young boy Bubaan not only dropped a catch, he also showed half the stadium behind us his white cotton 'andar ki baat' while doing so

 

"Last year, with just one tight slap he suddenly evolved from being an Ape to a Neanderthal. And the run-in with Re-Peter seems to have magically brought him to the Cave Man stage. If someone were to meet him for the first time today, he could almost mistake Appam to be a normal human being."

 

It was Castro's last night here and he sure was making it count. Being the class act that he is, even off the field he seemed to be aiming at the block-hole. 

And many more ... Basically if you want to give your mind a break from some hectic work this is a good read. On the question if this is right??  I have to say it is not... because I believe what happens in the dressing room should stay in the dressing room. But the fact is dirt sells!!

P. S apparently the blog is pretty well followed even by the players as apparently the other day Hayden referred to the mallu dancing boy by his blog name ... which sent him in to a tirade...