ARE WE RACIST???

The word racist is defined as "prejudice or discrimination based on the belief that race is the primary factor determining human traits and abilities. Racism includes the belief that genetic or inherited differences produce the inherent superiority or inferiority of one race over another ". Now ask any Indian you know the question, are a racist???And you will get a resounding no!! With some supporting adjectives such as “obviously not”, "are you mad" and so on.

I have till recently felt the same. In my mind racism was something to be associated with the color of skin. Demeaning people based on their color was mostly what was engraved in my mind. Thus I was very assured that this does not exist in India. Especially now considering, you can change your color using some cosmetic products. Basically it felt in India being fair was desirable but dark was also acceptable and that was about it.

But then when I thought about things like untouchability, caste system and regionalism I was not so sure any more. And then reading the headlines of papers these days where one can see politicians such as Raj Thackery and Modi make statements that openly lay siege to the very fabric of secular India. One cannot be at fault for wondering if it were true?? In case of the politicians what scares me is the fact that, such people are endorsed by our society due to a sense of misplaced communal pride.

I have experienced this communal divide first hand, during my first year in college I was ragged but I came in for special treatment from my seniors for the fact that my friend circle consisted of people who were not telugu speaking people. Absurd would you not agree?? Here comes the best part in my college which has students from all over the country, ragging was strictly community based that a telugu would rag a telugu , a mallu to a mallu and so on….

I am not free of such a charge either, I seem to harbor a sense dislike for certain communities too… which is wrong I know but it seems to have been inbred in to me. I am now in College Station, Texas. Sadly enough even here we seem to find ways to distinguish between ourselves. For example in the local cricket league here teams are named “Made in Andhra”, “Tamil Twisters” and so on…. Unfortunately I must confess in this season I played in the “Made in Andhra”. No disrespect to my teammates all fine people, I have decided not be a part of such communal symbolism in the future if it even means me not playing cricket.

We are biased in more ways than we accept but hey nobody’s perfect right. May be we are not at racism as such but we are not far from it either… The days of caste system may or may not be upon us anymore but I am sure communal sentiments and extreme feelings about religion are things we can do without. It definitely good to be proud of who you are and your culture but so as long as it not at the expense of the other. We have enough reasons to fight among ourselves … we do not need another.

THINGS IN LIFE: THAT ARE PRICELESS

I seem to be in a very retrospective mood. So here goes...I have done a lot things in life that have been given adjectives such as "stupid", "crazy", "loser" and so on ... you get the idea. Now when I look back at them I regret a few, I laugh at a few, and for some I laugh... then smile and ask myself " WTF was I thinking ". But in some stupid way I am glad because I can say " yeah man I have been there done that " sounds cool right??... but my friends and Jayan and Nitin will tell you with me its more a case of "hey... I was also there re..."

My top moments in no specific order are:

The final of the cricket tournament during my first year of college, played a perfect tourney till the last ball of the final. Opening batsmen... Opening bowler... crucial runs, crucial wickets, good catches I had done it all but... then it all changed within the space of one ball.. the last ball. 1 ball 3 runs to win the batsmen hits the ball in the air straight in to my hands I still remember like it was yesterday ... that too in slow motion. The ball went in and then right out.

During my undergrad days I was in the bad habit of getting a kick ridiculing the so called "popular" girls of the college. This habit of mine came back to bite me in my 2nd year when my really close friends started dating the very girls I made fun of ....( for the record they all found what I said funny... and added to it). And then all of them conveniently dumped the whole thing on me and yours truly was vilified for the remaining years of college.

I also seem to suffer from a disease called “foot in your mouth". Symptoms include saying in the wrong things at the wrong time, not being able to keep your mouth shut on issues that might strike an emotional chord ... you get the picture. When I was in school I had this teacher who a very heavy accent. So once she asked us study for an upcoming exam while she was sitting in class. I was preparing for the exams with my friends and suddenly felt this urge to ridicule her pronunciation, which I did. Only problem being I was sitting on the table on the 1st row with back facing the teacher totally oblivious to her presence at decibel level which give Pavarotti a complex.

I guess I never learnt my lesson. In college I was in the room of one my friends and everyone was looking at snaps of the "popular" girls and again I could not control my urge to say something. So I went on and on about how that girl was over rated. All the time I was oblivious to my roomie kicking me to hint for me to stop, as one of the people present there was her boyfriend. (Thankfully he was a smaller guy so ... i dint get beaten up...)

I once travelled to Bangalore to drop a friend of mine ( the point is the friend was a she... ) I had reservations for my journey to Bangalore but had none for the journey back. Being in college just having been bitten by the travel bug I decided to take general ticket for my return journey, I had travelled general many a time to chennai so how bad could this be?? Oh did I mention that this return journey would happen only after 10 in the night!! Something I forgot even then, to the extent I did not check the name of the train that I would have to take back. So I reached Bangalore at 9 PM dropped my friend back at the station by 9.30. After which my ordeal began first, I asked chaiwalla when the next train was to Vellore was he told me there was one 12.00am and another at 1.30am. Now the problem was what do I do till then?? So I decided to kill time I shall shuttle between Bangalore Cant station and Bangalore city by hoping on to trains that come ( I assumed that all trains will pass through both... thankfully my choices did).

It was time for the 1st train, I walked myself to the backend of the platform to board the general compartment. As the train passed me I felt it was overly packed, that was till I saw the general compartment. It was so packed that the door could not be opened or rather the people in it were not willing to open it. I quickly told myself "let’s just take the other one". As I was waiting for the next train I began to panic what if the next train had similar situation?? My panic was made worse when the cop working the platform told me that I need to get on to this train or leave the station. I had only 150 RS in my pocket so a lodge was out of the question the other station Bangalore city was too far. I prayed to god to somehow get me on the next train. The train pulled in to the station it was pretty crowded but somehow I managed to get myself in to the general compartment rather I was forced in to it by the crowd which had gathered to board the train behind me which I had not realized was quite large. Thus my ordeal began.... The only place that I could find to put my butt down was close to the loo. It seemed to be vacant for a long time so I though damn people are stupid ... quickly rushed over there and sat down. But after 15 minutes or so I realized why it was not taken the smell emanating fro m the loo was just awful. The guy on the opposite had in my opinion not been introduced to the concept of bathing. So I sat there for 5 1/2 hours not being able to move to another place as the only other place was next to the door which was suicidal for me due to a lack of warm clothing (it was late November and yes I feel cold very easily). That was last time Idecided to travel general on a night train.

Bottom line even though these things did not turn out too well for me ... I am glad they happened and I actually find them to be priceless.
And yes there are a lot more of them!!! but for now these will do.

FROM A GOOGLER TO A JANITOR IN 3 MONTHS

About 3 months back I was basking in the glory of receiving a juicy Q1 bonus while at Google. I was living the good life, a Pepsi in my hand ( which seems to be really hard to find here as Coke seems to have taken over everything here), free food ( chaat) a free ride to office, playing sports at office, after office, at offsites and basically all the perks of being a Googler. For all you people who are not from Google, an employee of Google is called aGoogler.


But what followed was a case of.... hmmm I still am trying to figure out why I did .. what I did?? I quit Google to pursue a Masters degree. I know what you going to say please lets just skip those obvious questions. Also I have got to the point now that I tell people I was working TCS ( no disrespect to TCS) but yeah generally people do not ask much after that one statement so I like it. The reason for this being I had reached breaking point when some one here asked me, if it was the call center division that I had worked for???

Basically long story short I got to the US . Then as one among the million plus Indian students over here I started my hunt for an on campus job so as to ease the burden on my pocket. I was pretty confident of me finding a job why?? I was from Google and I can not possibly not find a job right. Wrong !! I got rejected all most all technical jobs I applied for Why?? because I was over qualified I am not kidding even for jobs that I had no clue about, like stuff to do with PHP and dreamweaver. They actaully mailed saying that I ( technologically challenged Mohith) was over qualified (Josh stop laughing).
Desperation was at its peak. Then a breakthrough, a interview finally!!! but it was job in a diner. Now being from India I had no clue what was in store for me so I rejoiced went for the interview ( yes everything hear has an interview). Later they informed that I got it and I was even more happy. I can hear you all already laughing. I was horrified when I figured out that I was to be the guy who served food, took out trash, cleaned the tables and so on. Basically I was the guy whom in India you refer to as "eeh chotu paani laa re" or as friends from VIT would say " Thambi jhill thani".


Yes my life had flip 180 in three months I had gone from the guy on the outside looking in to the guy on the inside dying to get out. Worst are the line's you get from people " dont wory re it is all an expierence" You know what dont give me those cliched dialogues. It is not okay !!! beacuse stading for 4 hours straight cleaning tables mopping the floor is not okay!!

Honestly I would love to quit but one has to pay the bill. So I will prolong my agony till... whenever I guess. I do come back from work and look at snaps from my time at Google and think atleast I can say I have been there not many others who can do that right!!

A CONFUSED COLLECTION OF CONFLICTING THOUGHTS

It has been nearly a month since I have got to the US. I still feel just the same as I did on my first day here... CONFUSED!!! Confusion appears to be on the top of the list of emotions that come to mind. The confusion is along the lines of hmm...what am I suppose to do now???

I seem to be left either searching for answers or speechless in most cases.

Let me start with where I live:

I have a roomie who picked up scented candles to meditate because he saw something similar in the movie "blade". How do you meditate looking at a candle ??? are your eyes not suppose to be closed??

My roomies and I made tandoori chicken last weekend and I know it was good because they were other people i.e neighbours who ate it and lived. But I can not still figure out the right proportion of rice and water to cook rice. Guess what, the advice I get compounds my misery. One guy answered " 1.5 cups of rice with 3.2 cups of water" I mean what is 3.2????

I am sick of people asking me why did you leave Google ?? because frankly I am beginning to ask myself the same. It really hurts to pay for stuff like pringles lays pepsi and tons of other stuff one gets in the office. Guys enjoy every single moment over there trust there is nothing that gets close to the Google expierence.

Class has started and I am constantly thinking " damn these guys are soon going to find out that I dont belong here". The professors here really know what they are talking about but most of the time I am experiencing OHT ( Over Head Transmission ).

And for some reason most Indian's here, appear to suffer from a case of identity crisis including me. I seem to be struggling to find the right balance between " fitting in " and " being who or what I am ". It is feels like it is war between the lines " when in Rome behave like a Roman" and " Never forget where you come from".

People here cannot think of India beyond the lines chicken curry and BPO's and I really did not like it at first but come on what do we know about them ?? What we see on TV and mainly the birthplace of Mcdonalds and coke right. So it is our job to paint a complete picture for them

right...but for some reason we are very hesitant of doing that and I cannot seem to figure out why??

I know this has to be the most random collection of thoughts ever posted by me on my blog.

INDIA HOSTING THE OLYMPICS: DO WE DESERVE IT??

The other day I was browsing through Indian news sites when I came across an article about the possibility of India hosting the Olympics. I mean you must be joking !!! are you serious ?? Do you honestly think a one sport nation like ours should contemplate such an action??

I am not saying we are not capable, definitely not. What I am trying to say is do you think there is enough of a sports culture within our society today to give the respect an Olympic event deserves?? I mean would they play the cricket world cup in the USA or France just because there are facilities there meet the standard. NO!! definitely not because they are not in to cricket. Just as we are not in to the concept of the Olympics i.e the sports that are in it.

Yes we have won medals including multiple gold in field hockey but today our field hockey team is not even at Beijing. I do not blame the system, players or the so administrators who run the game but I blame us. We the people of India have become indifferent to sports other than cricket. It is sad but true. For example when we got dumped out of the cricket world cup the nation was up in arms saying "oh my god say it aint so" but we did not qualify for the Olympics in field hockey how many of us were devastated??


Today at the Beijing Olympics our country has 3 realistic medal hopes the Bhupathi and Paes duo which is at twilight, Raj Vardhan Singh Rathod the same whose national camp did not happen because there was a lack of ammunition and a boxer named Vijender Kumar. I have never heard of the boxer till a few days back and yes there will be another who will come out of the blue and win medal like Karnam Malleshwari.


But 4 from 1 billion hmmm... I do not know but lets look beyond that. Who ran the Indian leg of the Olympic torch relay it was not our athletes but our movie stars. wow!! can u believe that movie stars !!

Ok now critical question would you go and watch the athletics, swimming, wrestling or any other sport?? I dont think so... come on !! National games, World Military games and so on went on with empty stadium seats as their audience. (please look beyond opening and closing cermonies)

I am sure the honor of empty stadiums is not something we do not want to bestow on the Olympics. Such a travesty of the Olympic spirit would be act of treason. Basically we do not deserve to host the Olympics at this point of time. We still do not give sports or sportpersons the respect they deeserve in our society yet.

Being an optimist I feel some day things will change and then just may be we might see an Olympics in India.

I MISS MY CHAOS:I AM AN INDIAN & I LOVE IT

I have been in the United States of America for nearly a week now and I can clearly see why it is considered the most advanced country in the world. In my short life I have not seen much of the world come to think of it, I have not even seen much of India. But I am sure that it would be very tough to find a country where civil society is more organized and disciplined than the one here.
The way traffic moves, the way people obey laws, the orderly fashion in which people disembark from a plane and so on is just jaw dropping. For me as a Hyderabadi just watching the manner in which traffic laws are obeyed made me want to just dig a hole and jump in to it. For every need of society there is the huge shop which is the size of the Metro in Hyderabad. They are so huge that, they make what we find in India seem as small as a pebble( hey ro... better than the h block f block comparison rite) .


All this feeling of awe and wonder lasted for initial four days. But ever since then I have realized that I miss the chaos of India. I miss the fact that I cannot cross the road any where than just zebra crossing. I miss those cab drivers weave in out of traffic as if they were in some hollywood movie. I miss haggling with auto drivers to get from one place to another. Because where I stay is such a small town that there no cabs either.There are no STD booths and trust me pay phones dont make up for it( and u know why I am saying this)


I miss getting cut off by crazy people on their bikes and screaming " Pagal hai kya m*******d ". I miss getting in to a crowded bus and jostling for space so that I can comfortably rest myself on some rod. I miss overhearing other people conversations and chuckling about it with your friends. I miss eating with my friends and having these loud discussions about anything and everything under the sun. The chatwala, the chaiwala and the biryani line at paradise which moves at the speed of light.

I miss my parents saying "please do not treat this like a paying guest accommodation". Most of all I miss my friends from work, school and college. Everyone here says hi or howdy with smile but there is little one can talk after that cant really blame them but ...Basically no offense America, I miss the chaos that is India. Getting use to this is definately going to take some time. Guys when I come back if I start saying stuff like oh my god!! this is what is wrong with India please please kindly slap as hard as you can.

Halfway between the gutter and the stars
Stands the air, thin and weak,
Around my dreams floating, half-asleep,
With the silent smoke of dead cars.
They fall to the trodden ground and writhe
As reality strides on with thorny feet,
But in the dark hours of night so sweet
They see the cold stars and rise.
A breath of life, a breath of hope,
A little cheer and a little blindness,
Some laughter and a lot of kindness...
That's all my dreams need to cope