LIFE AT END OF THE BENCH

We all know and have heard about what it is to be the star of a sports team and heard these stars speak about how they led their team to victory and blah blah. I am sure you all would have seen that one guy who runs on to the field when the team wins but he is still in his warmers (track pants). And first your reaction is who is that guy ? does he ever play... why is he on the team?? I have never seen him play.

Well that guy is the one nobody outside knows, he is the one who gets the drinks for the " main" players. He pretty much is the water boy or towel boy of the team. All this may sound a little demeaning but I don’t think it is. Because like it or not counseling some of the big shots when they are not playing at their best... trying to give a pep talk by lifting lines from famous movies... and so on ..you get the picture... Basically doing things that are not associated with you dribbling the ball.

To be very honest ...I for long time was that guy on my college team. I mean my first 2 years on the mean I was a " 30 player ". That implies i would only play if we were up 30 or down by 30 . Basically you are the one who runs around like a headless chicken after the opponents have mopped the floor with your senior team and trust me it is not fun. Especially when you can hear people in the crowd go “whoa .... Where did they find this joker from ". The toughest part was seeing juniors who got in to the team after me work themselves in to the rotation of playing team.

But I guess me turning in to the guy, who sits at the end of bench was a product my attitude of "playing safe". I mean was scared to shoot beacuse I was too worried that I would miss and preferred to pass. So at the end of the day you do not look bad but flip side being you would not look great either. The then coach of the team who for some insane reason called me " mogaan" for year then called me "mogith" for the next 2 years. he believed that if I really tried hard , I could be decent shooter ... I just generally concluded that he lost his marbles ... if he thought I can turn into a guy who could the shoot the ball from distance with consistency i.e. turn into wing player.

I didn’t believe it then but now days that seems to be only thing I can do ... ironic!! Not that I am great at it but most definitely million times better than I was back in college. I think it is phenomenon know as "evolution", as I really cannot do anything else when the guy in front me can just jump over me with no effort at all ... I mean over me. Trust me ... being hopped over like a puddle of water on the road is not a very desirable experience. It is like wetting your pants in front of the whole class. So to be respectable you just shoot before the come near you (survival instincts).

In college I certainly did wish I could have been the guy with " star power" but honestly I think I would have not been able to enjoy being on the team and playing as much as I did if that were the case. In my opinion being the guy at the end of the bench worked out perfectly.... I was close to nearly all my closest friends, was able to share all the high & lows of basketball and life from winning, loosing and all the other crazy stuff. I met my girlfriend in a way thanks to basketball and being on the bench( more of the latter as I was kinda was unofficial coach of the girls team along with another friend) ... and learnt a hell a lot about basketball and life and met the really amazing people along the way... not bad for being last in a line... eh!!

FAKE IPL PLAYER : A MUST READ FOR A CRICKET FAN ( IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY BONE!! )

During the past few weeks ... finding time to update the blog has definitely been at premium. It is the general cycle of end of semester madness… projects, assignments, deadlines..... Final papers... blah blah.... But it has always amazed me how at around the same time as exams the number of movies... Tv Series.... etc one watches on their pc's dramatically increases. All in all the time spent on unproductive activities more than doubles... For example during my undergrad I watched about 80 odd Naruto episodes with English subtitles over a period of 2 days right before my toughest paper and only stopped because I ran out supply of episodes.

 

So now at grad level I have found new hobby at least for now.... rather should I say for this semester. As most you being the knowledgeable netizens you are, would have heard of this blog called "fakeiplplayer". This anonymous blogger ... an apparent insider.. writes about the off screen happenings of the IPL ( Indian Premier League) dishing all the dressing room dirt about IPL teams with a special focus on the Kolkata Knightriders and a little bit about the team from Punjab.

 

The beauty of his writing has to be his complete utilization of his right to free speech. But also at the same time he does not address any of players but comes up with comical equivalents for their names. Though I must admit at first read I really found it tough figure who was who... but as you read more it becomes pretty obvious. So I have spent the last week decoding, which name corresponds to which player and have made a list.

 

So here are my personal favourites:

 

Dil-do: Shah Rukh Khan

Lordie: Saurav ' dada' Ganguly

Kaan Moolo: Agarkar because of his extremely large ears... 

Little John: Ishant Sharma

Bhookha Naan : Buchanan

Candy Nickle : Andy Bichel

Gilli Danda : Ashok Dinda

Babaan: Arindham Bose

Budhimaan Baba: Wridhiman Saha

Chikna Pu**y : David Hussey ( may be to harsh dont you think?)

Boy George : Joy Bhattacharya

Sticky Something: Ricky Ponting

Appam Chu***a: Shreeshanth ( my favourite)

Havaii Chappal: Greg Chappel

Meerabhai: Bhajji

Mr.Batlivala: Mr. Mallya

Big Mac: Matty Hayden (totally agree)

Lady Jaya: Mahila Jaywardene

Cool dude: Dhoni (sounds about right)

Arnold Power: Romesh Powar (funny!!)

Pedophile Priest: Gilchrist.... (Extreme... way too extreme... )

Panty Pu**y: Robin Utthapa

Chinnu Popli: Virat Kholi

BUBlee: Brett lee

Vakil Saab : Sangakarra ( due to his excessive appealing)

Durbaan of Patiala: Tom Moody

Castro : Fidel Edwards

Springbok: Morne Wan Wyk

Ghati Baba: Rohit Sharma 

Prince of Patiala: Yuvvi

Kammez Pajama: Rameez Raja

Many more.... but these are the ones that appeal to me... and here are a few excerpts....

 

Prince hit him exactly where it hurts by saying, "Attitude toh poora masala dosa ka deta hai, aur bowling Appam jaisa karta hai" 

 

"Chirkut Teli hits on a 100 girls every night, at least 99 of whom reject him outright. Not too quality conscious, he'd take those odds any day. Although, given his batting average, I find his faith in this law of averages a little ironical."

 

"Imagine a group comprising Gilli Danda, Buddhiman Baba and Bubaan hitting on hot white chicks. My respect for South African girls has actually gone up a bit. "

 

If dropping catches wasn't embarassing enough, our young boy Bubaan not only dropped a catch, he also showed half the stadium behind us his white cotton 'andar ki baat' while doing so

 

"Last year, with just one tight slap he suddenly evolved from being an Ape to a Neanderthal. And the run-in with Re-Peter seems to have magically brought him to the Cave Man stage. If someone were to meet him for the first time today, he could almost mistake Appam to be a normal human being."

 

It was Castro's last night here and he sure was making it count. Being the class act that he is, even off the field he seemed to be aiming at the block-hole. 

And many more ... Basically if you want to give your mind a break from some hectic work this is a good read. On the question if this is right??  I have to say it is not... because I believe what happens in the dressing room should stay in the dressing room. But the fact is dirt sells!!

P. S apparently the blog is pretty well followed even by the players as apparently the other day Hayden referred to the mallu dancing boy by his blog name ... which sent him in to a tirade... 

 

THE GREAT INDIAN DEMOCRACY..... CHOICE OR LACK OF IT

In a few months time India, the largest democracy in the world will go polls for the 15th time. The as usual the million dollar question arises who will come to power after all the dust has settled?? Gone are days of single party governments and of 3/4th majority in the center, now the in things are seat sharing formula's, power sharing formula's, pre-alliances and so on. I have been going through many a news website trying to figure out, whom should I vote for ??

 To my astonishment I have hardly come across any information that sheds light on the policies or the election manifesto of any one party or why or how is it different from another. I find it strange that parties seem to be more concerned about coming up some formula to share seats than telling the people why they should vote for them over someone else based on their policies. I really feel the political parties in India no ideological credibility of any sort. If a party says it is one for secularism, how in the world can you be in an alliance with the BJP( Bhartiya Janta Party). I am not going to waste blog space trying to explain why the BJP is not a secular party, honestly if you cannot infer that from the past 30 years I am sorry but the world has to be told the " Dodo" has not gone extinct ( may be you are even dumber than that). Now after the Varun Gandhi's episode it is pretty clear that nothing has changed.  

 For example look at the state of Tamil Nadu and you will notice how political ideology is dead. The leader of the AIADMK, Jayalalitha imprisoned Vaiko under the act of POTA during her reign as Chief Minister. Now the both of them have become partners so as to oust the DMK from power. (I do not even want to get in to how a man, who is known to have links with an organization responsible for the assassination of our prime minister, can fight an election?) How can Sanjay Dutt , a man in the Mumbai serial blast case and Tada be allowed to stand in an election?? what kind of message are we sending out,  if a convicted fellon gets to represent the people of the country... Is there no one else... or is everything forgotten just becuase he did Munnabhai!!!   

 Since I could not find any information about any political outfit’s policies or their plan of action if voted in to power I decided to make my choice based on will be the face of the government if they were to be voted in to power.

 

Dr Manmohan Singh: A man of few words, an economist turned politician. Many say the most honest man in politics but the very same man who was the head of one the most corrupt cabinets in recent history. One of his ministers Shibu soren is actually in jail for murder. Shivraj Patil I think will go down in history as the worst home minister ever.... I mean man did absolutely nothing. Just as side note he was born in 1932....  May be its time he hang up his boots considering the government retirement age is 62 ... but ironically in terms Indian politics he is termed has fighting young !!

 

L K Advani: Mr BJP I am sorry but the day he comes to power India might as well bring down the tri color and hoist the saffron flag. Going by what the BJP has achieved in Karnataka, a Hitler’s SS type persecution of the so called evil "mall & pub culture" god alone what comes next if he takes control at the center. And he still will not stop with Ram mandir Issue somebody needs to inform him that rest of the country wants wipe out any and all memory of our of shame. He is 81 years old!!! Most of our cities hardly have buildings that are that old.... 

 

Then we have the the so called 3rd option behankumari Mayawati.... her justification for why she should be the prime minister is... because she is a dalit. This coming from a lady who fielded 131 canidates with criminal records in U.P's state elections. Out if which 63 won and most these people have multiple criminal cases against them ... some include even murder!!! May be ethics is not her forte.... I pretty sure that if she were to become PM all her projects would be named Shri Kanshi Ram ... something . P.S she is endorsed by the left the so ideological stalwarts of Indian politics. 

 

This last candidate is a long shot for  the post PM but even then Mr Sharad Pawar the present BCCI chief and union cabinet minister...( How there is no conflict of interest there ...I Have no Idea)  thinks its time that there is a marathi PM .... He criticizes ... Mr Raj Thackeray on one hand but uses the same concept of “Marathi Manoos “for his political ambitions. Hmm I have an idea why stop at this lets make Sreesanth the captain of the Indian cricket team considering that we not had a captain from Kerela!!

 

So basically as an average Indian voter our choices have come down to the following 

Dial 1 for Corruption

Dial 2 for Religion (communal politics)

Dial 3 for Caste ( caste based politics)

Dial 4 for Regionalism (language based politics seems to catching on)

 

So ... I guess most us feel the system is screwed ... needs to change something has to be done.... Blah Blah... I have question how is it going to change if you and I do nothing about it!!! So please let us make an effort to do something.... you can start by going and voting.  

 

Pick the lesser of the 4 evils or if you are in Andhra Pradesh check out this party called Lok Satta  may be it might appeal to you basically there a lot more alternatives to what we have ...we just choose to ignore them.

Here is one more  lok-paritran

And Bharat Punarnirman Dal

Or.... the Professionals Party of India 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TATA NANO HAS ARRIVED !!!

 It is about 5:30 in the morning in the U.S and I am watching a press conference being held in Mumbai by TATA Motors to announce a commercial release of the TATA NANO. I cannot but help be filled with a sense of immense pride today. I fully acknowledge the critics and their views about this automotive innovation but I strongly feel today is a red letter day for the Indian nation as whole.

It is often referred to as the “cheapest” car but I seem to think the word "cheapest"seems to  take away the monumental technological achievement of this endeavour. Even 5 years ago if someone told you that a car would be available to for 1 lakh you would laugh and come to think of it most in the western world still think it is a joke.  It might look just like a tin can with wheels but even that is not so easy to put together as one may think.  

Today when the automotive industry is in a slump like never before, the last place one would have expected a technological development in automotive sector to come from ......  was India.

 This seems to be a very incoherent post in many ways but it is something I feel very strongly about. If anyone in the  world needed more proof that best and brightest people come from India well .... here is another example of it.  You said it was impossible well .... India made it possible. 

Basically I think it time to kiss the slumdog issue goodbye ..... we have some thing new !!! the NANO ...  

Thank you Ratan TATA...  for TATA NANO